Monday, September 15, 2014

Stupid Funny Quotes Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr Tagalog For Kids About Girls

Stupid Funny Quotes Biography

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Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.

The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?'

They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?

A stupid person laughs three times at a joke; once when everyone else is laughing, a second time when he actually gets the joke, and a third time when he realizes he was laughing without getting the joke at first.

When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.

What I do when I see someone pretty is I stare I smile then when I get tired I put the mirror down.

If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter.

It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it.

I did not trip and fall. I attacked the floor and I believe I am winning.

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

In grammar class the teacher asks her student 'When you sing you say 'I sing' what do you say when your brother is singing? I say 'shut up you're a terrible singer'.

I don't smoke, don't drink, don't do drugs, I only have one small problem, I lie.

The problem with drinking and driving is that trees defend themselves very well.

Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can't see.

If you think nothing is impossible, try slamming a revolving door.

You know your driving is really terrible when your GPS says 'After 300 feet, stop and let me out!'

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

I'm not here to judge, I'm just pointing out all the mistakes you're making.

I know that I am stupid but when I look around me I feel a lot better.

It's better to shut up and give the impression that you're stupid than to say something and erase all doubt.

I'm not suffering from insanity, I'm enjoying every minute of it.

My friend, remember that without stupidity there wouldn't be intelligence, and without ugliness there wouldn't be beauty, so the world needs you after all.

Stupidity is far more fascinating than intelligence, after all intelligence has it's limits.

Your legs must be tired because you have been running through my mind all night.

Whoever said great things come in small packages hasn't seen my big screen TV.

I wish that all of my enemies had three cars parked in front of their house. An ambulance, fire truck and police car.

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe.

Due to current economic conditions the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.

Don't disturb me, I am disturbed enough already.

Don't ask me anything, and I won't tell you any lies.

After many years of studying my Geography book I finally know by heart that Australia is on page 23.

If what you've done is stupid but it works, then it really isn't that stupid at all.

Actual meanings of various terms: TEAM WORK: Having somebody else you can blame it on. HARDWARE: The part of a computer you can kick when there are software problems. IMPATIENT: Somebody who is waiting in a hurry. INFLATION: Paying today's prices with last year's salary.

When the cop told me to give him my first name and last name I told him, 'Are you crazy? What's my name going to be then?'

No matter how smart you are you can never convince someone stupid that they are stupid.

Don't be stupid, it might make you famous.

In beer there is freedom, in wine there is health, in cognac there is power and in water there is bacteria.

I put my phone in airplane mode, but it's not flying!

Amazing Quotes

Monday, September 15, 2014

Stupid Funny Quotes Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr Tagalog For Kids About Girls

Stupid Funny Quotes Biography