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I love you like a fat kid loves cake
Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in.
Love is hiding who you are at all times. It’s wearing make-up to bed and going downstairs to Burger King to poop.
It wasn’t love at first sight. It took a full five minutes.
Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing.
First love is a kind of vaccination which saves man from catching the complaint the second time.
I love you and it’s getting worse.
You call it madness, but I call it love.
Love thy neighbor — and if he happens to be tall, debonair and devastating, it will be that much easier.
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.
Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty interesting questions.
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love
Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person in love.
All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.
Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.
A touch of love, everyone becomes a poet.
A youth with his first cigar makes himself sick. A youth with his first girl makes everybody sick.
People should fall in love with their eyes closed.
Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there.
Love sucks. Sometimes it feels good. Sometimes it’s just another way to bleed.
I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?
Love means nothing in tennis, but it’s everything in life.
Love, I’ve come to understand is more than three words mumbled before bedtime.
Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.
I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
Love is being stupid together.
Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species.
You can’t put a price tag on love. But if you could, I’d wait for it to go on sale.
If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people
Love is like war, easy to begin but hard to end.
What the world really needs is more love and less paper work.
The only thing worse than a boy who hates you: a boy that loves you.
Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots.
No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying.
If you love something set it free, but don’t be surprised if it comes back with herpes.
I thought I was promiscuous, but it turns out I was just thorough.
Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.
Love doesn’t make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.
Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.
It is easier to love humanity as a whole than to love one’s neighbor.
Love; A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.
You could empty the trash and my love for you still wouldn’t fit inside. But just because it won’t fit, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t empty the trash. ?
Being a good husband is like being a stand-up comic. You need 10 years before you can call yourself a beginner.
The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because generally they are the same people.
Only time can heal your broken heart, just as only time can heal his broken arms and legs.
To love someone as much as you love yourself, that is the ideal. Especially if that someone is your clone.?