Sunday, September 21, 2014

Funny Short Quotes Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr Tagalog For Kids About Girls

Funny Short Quotes Biography

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Life is short, so smile while you still have teeth.

They say that life is too short, I just wonder who took the measurements.

David Lynch and I almost made a movie together in the late '80s. We had lots of dinners and lunches. He's a very cool, hip guy. This film, let's face it, is like an homage to him, I would imagine he'd find it funny.

I think I'm funny because my family, my siblings were funny.

What I learned, a little too late, was that the 'traditional' Martin Short target viewer weighs under 300 pounds. Unfortunately, I was on during daytime.

The name Short Dawg and I be clownin like krusty.

Fresh outfit boy, came to shut it down. And it's only gon be worn once, like a wedding gown. Somebody tell the town Short Dawgs in the annex. Pistol on my hip and I pop it like Xanex.

Vagina jokes aren't funny. Period.

Life is too short to waste time on matching socks.

I went to a meeting for premature ejaculators. I left early.

Life is ephemeral, Don't waste it looking up Big words.

People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant.

A man commented to his lunch companion: My wife had a funny dream last night. She dreamed she'd married a millionaire. You're lucky, sighed the companion. My wife dreams that in the daytime.

The golden rule of work is that the bosses jokes are ALWAYS funny.

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.

I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous.' And God granted it.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

It's funny the way most people love the dead. Once you're dead, you're made for life.

The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds the most discoveries, is not Eureka! (I found it!) but 'That's funny...�

The rain forest has Sting. Now Siberia has Jack Dee. Someone had to draw the short straw. In this case it was the rain forest.

Life's too short for chess.

I made up my mind long ago that life was too short to do anything for myself that I could pay others to do for me.

Funny thing how you first meet the woman that you marry. I first met the wife in a tunnel of love. She was digging it.

A man's got to take a lot of punishment to write a really funny book.

In this age, which believes that there is a short cut to everything, the greatest lesson to be learned is that the most difficult way is, in the long run, the easiest.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness . . . it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair . . . in short, the period was so far like the present period . . . .

There is something that falls short of perfection in every book, without exception, something influenced by the age, even something ridiculous; just like everyone, without exception, has weaknesses.

Youth is full of sport, age's breath is short; youth is nimble, age is lame; Youth is hot and bold, age is weak and cold; Youth is wild, and age is tame.

In youth the days are short and the years are long. In old age the years are short and day's long.

A great many things have been pronounced untrue and absurd, and even impossible, by the highest authorities in the age in which they lived, which have afterwards, and, indeed, within a very short period, been found to be both possible and true.

Amazing Quotes

Sunday, September 21, 2014

Funny Short Quotes Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr Tagalog For Kids About Girls

Funny Short Quotes Biography