Monday, September 1, 2014

Funny Life Quotes Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr Tagalog For Kids About Girls

Funny Life Quotes Biography

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f you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.

Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics.

When the plane you are on is late, the plane you want to transfer to is on time.

Life is like a taxi. The meter just keeps a-ticking whether you are getting somewhere or just standing still.

There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.

It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.

If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Life is not so bad if you have plenty of luck, a good physique and not too much imagination.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

An optimist is someone who falls off the Empire State Building, and after 50 floors says, "So far so good!"

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

Life is just a phase you're going through...you'll get over it.

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

Born to be wild - live to outgrow it.

For most men, life is a search for the proper Manila envelope in which to get themselves filed.

After one look at this planet, any visitor from outer space would say, "I WANT TO SEE THE MANAGER!"

Life is like eating artichokes, you have got to go through so much to get so little.

Personally, I don't think there's intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one?

Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

Life is just one damned thing after another.

Life is as tedious as a twice-told tale vexing the dull ear of a drowsy man.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

Nothing is as frustrating as arguing with someone who knows what he's talking about.

I think I've discovered the secret of life - you just hang around until you get used to it.

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.

All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.

Eagles may soar in the clouds, but weasels never get sucked into jet engines.

Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry.

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.

It's always darkest before the dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

Ability is what will get you to the top if the boss has no daughter.

Love your enemies. It makes them so damned mad.

Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

I told my dad I stopped raising hell and he called me a quitter!

I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
"Dance with the Devil"

The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.

Crying doesn't help anything, try your luck with violent mood swings.

Smile, tomorrow will be worse.

When I'm right, no one remembers, when I'm wrong, no one forgets.

We never really grow up. We just learn how to act in public.

Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

Funny Life QuotesFunny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr Tagalog For Kids About Girls